Just recently, I've read an article about anger management by Maznah Ibrahim. She shared 4 techniques to control our anger as a mother towards the children. In my opinion, those techniques seem very practical & do-able. I love to share with you.
Technique 1
Remember one & only thing: 'What if this child is no longer here with us afterwards?'. Does it worth to prolong our anger towards the child? Try to think logically, why are we as an adult (age 20s-30s) being so mad against wrongdoings done by the child (age 2-3 years) though we knew their level of thinking still not yet matured as us do. BE wise, THINK wise and ACT wise. We should not expect the children to do everything according to our expectation who had live this life more than 2 decades.
Technique 2
Be calm and look / stare our children's face lovingly. Think: 'What if one day our child did the same thing to us when we getting older?'. Surely, we don't want this to happen. Children's brain like a sponge, it will absorb and then imitate what an adult shown to them. Be conscious on that because we are about to develop their sub-conscious mind. According to Puan Maznah's writing, at the age of 0-2 years, 80% of human brain has been developed. And at the age of 6 years old, 90% completed. During these phases, children learning through their cognitive skills and visual display. However, they still do it irrationally. They do it just because they imitate the elder.
Technique 3
Take a deep breath, don't say anything and immediately do what suppose to be done. For example, your child poop on the floor. Instead of being a crazy woman, shouting at your child just do the chores to clean up the poop fast. Then only you talk back to your child what should be done / show him / her how to do it correctly with a proper explanation. This is one of the techniques being used by our beloved Prophet to teach (Do it right in front of children > children imitate the actions > praise the children after they do it correctly).
Technique 4
Take a deep breath > walk straight to your children > sit / squat / be in the same level with children so that you can make direct eye-contact > then say something or ask children something wise. For example, you can ask the child "What are you doing?" or "Why are you doing this?". Usually, the child will give a spontaneous answer. So based on the answer, you try to negotiate with him / her further on. Give reason, explanation and guidance in make things right.
Through my readings, I was so moved by Puan Maznah's quote "Kadangkala ibu marah pada suami yang meninggalkannya atau telah melukakan hatinya, tanpa sedar terlepas pada anak walaupun kesalahan kecil". Think deep, don't let our children be the punching bag of all our miserable problems. Not only when we had problems, even when we are tired. Please be relevant. Don't release the tiredness / frustration onto our children. This post also as a reminder to me as a first-time-mother.
You tell me, how can I turn myself to an angry bird after looking at this cheeky face :-)
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